What’s your kryptonite?

Way back in 1943, kryptonite became a “thing” - a green substance from planet Kypton that caused the comic-book character Superman to become weak when he was exposed to it. It seems bizarre and impossible, but yes, even a Superman can have a silly – NO wait - interesting weakness.

In everyday contexts, the word kryptonite is used to refer to someone's weakness or something that can be used to hurt someone who is strong. It has more or less the same meaning as Achilles heel; although kryptonite can be as severe as a fatal weakness, its lesser cousin Achilles, is simply a vulnerable area in one’s life.

The beginning

But let’s begin at the beginning (79 years ago)….kryptonite was only feared by someone who ALREADY has a super power – this ordinary guy, Clark Kent. That being said; I’ll be that first to admit that I HAVE a kryptonite. I have something in my world that can weaken me or hurt me. This “something” is very intimate to me; it surrounds me daily; circling overhead waiting to block my superpowers.

It’s not the hawks we count at the Pembina Hills edge in the spring. It’s not the neighbour’s dog gnashing his teeth as I run by at 5:20 am. And, it’s not the local mafia still trying to take down the women on “their” side of town. No, my dear omnipresent kryptonite is my own unwillingness to give up – on anything – once I commit to it.

On the surface, this may sound like determination and certainly commitment is a positive attribute. But sometimes letting go is important and necessary. (Don’t ask me when the time is the time to quit – as I rarely do; that’s why it’s my kryptonite!)

Fear, fear, fear

For others, kryptonite may be a fear of the unknown; the fear of what life and not their own plans brings forth. (Wonder Woman feared bullets – smart lady!)

Now there are likely millions of kryptonite descriptions, but let’s just talk about 2 kinds of krypto-fear (not crypto currency – haha): one for managing life during times of so-called failure and the other for managing the waves of great success. I know, I know, what the heck? But this is the true for many folks, and perhaps even for you? Stop to consider this: with failure, comes need to adjust and change; with success comes the need to keep going with momentum, stability, and a drive to do even better – to continue the success.

Before we analyze this fear duo, let’s slide “fear” under the microscope.

Fear is really the mirror image of courage. I bet you didn’t know that! (Well, maybe some of you did.) To be fearful of something to begin with, you need to understand the significance of the “thing” you fear and you need to face and name the fear. That – my friend – takes a wee bit of courage (hear it with an Irish accent).

Fear can be anywhere and everywhere. Fear can be at the forefront with a failed attempt, and fear can be at the back of the hall when you are at the peak of your success. Since fear has a negative rep, it may be healthier to look at your fears as an opportunity for courage.

So, let’s review

Only super-powered, brave people even HAVE a kryptonite; and kryptonite is scary only IF you are courageous enough to identify your fears. So WHO are the super-heroes among us? Let me tell you about the few that I know.

Superheroes among us

Lydia and Sally, both lost their loving partners. It was sad, very sad. After the appropriate time of mourning and adjustments, they courageously live on; celebrating their achievements of a family that is well-loved and raised by them.

Then there is Debbie and Cindy, who have worked hard all their lives to contribute to their respective communities, and they never say no to helping out – never! Their lives are richly blessed with successful careers and generous family and friends that surround them.

For 30 years, I’ve been honoured with knowing Bev and Carolyn, who in spite of fulltime careers they continue to raise their children with the utmost respect and love. They have never let their passion for their lifelong investment in the health of others get in the way of being the “bestest” moms!

Ordinary people do extra-ordinary things when they have the courage to face their fears and manage the things that take their superpowers down. Your “secret sauce” is really loving what you do – that’s really YOUR source of power. When you take this love seriously, you can use it to create outcomes - for the benefit of others. When you love what you do, you have the power to make the world a better place…just like Superman and Wonder Woman.

Courage

As we age or become unwell, we need courage even more so. The wisdom of Max Erhmann holds strong and true even today:

“Take kindly the council of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings; many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe – no less than the stars and the trees – you have every right to be here. Whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should; therefore be at peace…”  

Yes, this arrival at “peace” takes courage – two special brands of courage.

The first is the courage to confront the reality of your own mortality. From the moment of birth, we are all on the path towards death. As they say, the only two things you can count on in this world are death and taxes.

The second kind of courage, is the courage to act on the truth that you finally realize; and then choose how to manage the remaining time you have. Being brave enough to ask yourself the question: “What matters most right NOW?” I drive this topic home in great detail in my previous blog.

Back to the duality of fear

So many anecdotes position fear as the bad guy.

"The brave one is not one who does not feel afraid, but one who conquers that fear."

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

Well most of them are true BUT it’s not having fear that is the show stopper, rather it’s letting fear monopolize the conversation. Remember the childhood saying: “Turn that frown upside down!” Well, as I already said “fear” is precisely the flip side of courage.

Bottom line

Face your fears. Name your kryptonite. Work your superpowers to make this place the beautiful world it was always meant to be.